


Things we lost to the flame [Things we'll never see again]

by lonelyjournalkeeper



Series: Til Death Due Us Part (And Even After That) [2]
Category: Critical Role
Genre: Angst, Episode 26 spoilers, Grieving, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Ouch, and you fuckjign KNOW WHY, but it is the same world of canon manipulation, duh - Freeform, i dont even know, i really fucked with the timeline here bc who needs canon honestly, my other fic isnt needed to udnerstand this, read the note at the beginning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 04:59:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16780075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lonelyjournalkeeper/pseuds/lonelyjournalkeeper
Summary: Caleb already misses him and it's not a pretty sight.[spoilers for you know what in episode 26]





	Things we lost to the flame [Things we'll never see again]

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TearfulSolace](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TearfulSolace/gifts).



> a/n: bc nothing means anything, for the purposes of this- Jester, Fjord and Yasha weren’t taken. But they still joined in with Keg to take down the Iron Shepherds.
> 
> Also, again, because im a bitch who does not give a SINGLE fuck about canon- this takes place about a year and a half into the group getting together instead of a month in. and everyone knows about caleb and molly bla bla bla. I really don’t care about canon lol
> 
> :)
> 
> Oh! Also the other fic i wrote- You’re my Lover, @TearfulSolace asked me how Caleb reacted to Molly's death and uhhhhhhh, in that fic Molly hadn’t died (i had ignored all of this bUT IT GOT ME THINKIN) so ty for that plot bunny and this garbage is 4 u <3
> 
> SO THIS IS HOW I WANNA DO THIS I GUESS.

Caleb started screaming and didn’t stop until everything is burning. Until every remaining member of the Iron Shepherd's was a charcoal black and still giving off a faint sizzling sound as he walked past. Until his entire body ached with each movement and he was simultaneously too hot and too cold.

He can't even bring himself to care about the fact the other Iron Shepherds got away. 

Beau was already there, by the time Caleb makes it over. And by the Caleb falls to his knees, Yasha is there too. Right beside him. He faintly thinks Nott is calling out to him, but he can’t bring himself to focus on anything other than the man on the ground.

Molly is in front of him, eyes wide open and staring into the sky. Giving no reaction or movement. No sarcastic comment to throw, or overly flirtatious comment to make Caleb go bright red.

Nothing.

And Caleb feels it before he recognizes it, and then the sound is just pouring out of him. Hands clenched into Molly’s jacket, the stupid bright swirls and patterns caught between his white knuckles and shaking grasp as he cries. And pleads with a god, any _god_ , for a favor he wasn’t justified in asking for.

He sobs, and screams- in a way he’s only done once before in his life. The night he stood by and listened as his family burned. The night he had lost everything.

Caleb doesn’t know how long he pleads, and cries and clings to the body of a man already long gone. He doesn’t know what time it is for the first time in his life. Even when his home was burning he knew it was 6:46, and he was 20 degrees off from standing north. This time Caleb couldn’t tell you which was up was if he wanted to.

-

Beau wasn’t an emotional person, and nor was she the biggest fan of Mollymauk, anyone could tell you this- but the second she sees him go down… The second she realizes he’s not getting up… That his chest isn’t moving anymore…

The tears edge in, easily kept at bay for the moment. The fight is over and won but good Gods at what fucking cost this time. At what fucking cost.

The tears sit at bay… until she hears Caleb. Until there is smoke in the air and suddenly Caleb is on the ground, clutching Molly’s stupid overly colorful jacket between his hands and is pressing his forehead to the other man’s chest and just stops holding anything in.

That’s when the tears properly start and Beauregard cries for the first time in over two years.

Losing a friend is one thing, but to bare witness to the aftermath is almost too cruel a punishment to swallow. Molly already hurts, but knowing that Caleb loved him more than anything pains her so much more for some reason.

Yasha hasn’t moved from her spot next to Caleb either and that does nothing for the tears on Beau’s face.

Molly was a lot of things- snarky and malicious. A liar and a thief. Petty and sometimes just cruel. He was an awful roommate and a horrible person to travel with but… Mollymauk was a good friend. He was also kind and knew the moment to lighten everything around him. Recognized his fortune and used it to benefit people around him- slipping money into pockets of those around him when he thought no one would notice.

Beau noticed. And there’s a part of her that wished now, she never had. That she could easily go on only thinking of Mollymauk the asshole. Not the complicated and kind man she had grown to know to leave every town better than when he found it.

“Caleb?” Nott’s got tears pouring down her cheeks as she reaches out slowly, and places a hand on the wizards back. The wizard doesn’t even seem to notice, just keeps mumbling and grieving. Nott hiccups slightly but gently sits down, curling into Caleb.

What fucking cost.

Fjord is there, next to her- clearly unsure of what to say- falchion still in hand. And for a long time, they just stand. At some point Jester joining the ground besides Yasha.

It startles all of them when Caleb just… stops.

The pleading and the tears and the shaking just… stops. Instantly.

“Caleb?” Nott tugs on his jacket gently as he sits up, staring in the distance unfocused, “Caleb you’re worrying me.”

He doesn’t respond to her. They all try and nothing breaks that thousand mile stare, and after a few minutes of crying Notts face twists up in a rage, before she turns back to Molly's body.

“You bastard!” She stands up, hand clenched together, “You can’t put him together than not be here to help when he falls apart!”

She kicks at him once before stopping, seemingly startled by herself. She breathes heavy, the tears just coating her face. Beau feels herself gasp, unable to stop the wave of new emotion, the fresh tears.

“You’re an absolute bastard, Mollymauk Tealeaf.” It’s clear Nott’s voice holds no truth but nonetheless Fjord steps in,

“You don’t mean that.” There’s no question in his voice, and Nott’s rage falls.

“I don’t. I really don’t.” She wipes under her nose slowly with the back of her hand before turning away.

“We need to bury him.” She glances at Caleb, still unmoving by Molly's side. Hands still tangled into the coat.

Fjord nods slowly, as do Yasha and Jester. Beau finds herself nodding along a moment later, wiping at her face and squaring her shoulders. They couldn’t all fall apart here.

“That sounds like a fine idea, Nott.”

-

It takes time. And Caleb doesn’t move, or blink or acknowledge anything until Yasha moves to place Molly in the freshly dug grave. Only then does he seem to react, he blinks a few times before looking around. His eyes slowly coming back, clearing and re-examining the scene in front of him.

“I need to leave a note,” His voice is rough and worn, “I _need_ to leave him a note. He can’t wake up again with no memories. No idea of where to find us.”

Yasha nods, giving Caleb a watery smile and heads towards the cart- returning a moment later. Caleb writes slowly, using Jesters sketchpad as a flat surface. However it takes a long moment, seeing as that he refuses to unwind his left hand from the coat- to take his hand from _Molly._

After he finishes he nods, breathing heavily again and slides the folded piece of paper into the pocket on Molly's shirt.

It’s still for a long moment.

“Can… Yasha would you mind… Is it alright?” He never finishes the question but she follows his gaze down to his hand- to the coat.

She smiles again, “He wouldn’t have wanted it any other way, I think.”

Once the coat is in Caleb’s arms, the small deck digs into his chest. He fishes them out and hands them to Beau silently.

The monk takes them quietly, now only Jesters sniffling being the sound filling the air.

“Wait.” Beau says, voice unexpectedly soft, “We need to wrap him in something. Wait just a second.”

Yasha stills again, Molly's body already halfway in her arms. But she doesn’t seem perturbed holding it, she seems oddly comforted by it.

And when Beau returns even Caleb can’t stop his laughter.

“That fucking tapestry.”

Once he’s buried Beau vanishes for a moment before reappearing with a couple of their random chalices in her hands. She passes them out quietly, everyone taking one without hesitation. Even Caleb who still remains kneeling- staring at the freshly moved dirt. The poorly hammered in stick as a replacement headstone.

“Nott, fill us up?” Beau asks, keeping her voice somehow its usual gruff- no inkling of grief. And the goblin girl does, her never ending flask giving all of them- even Jester, a full cup to raise. To raises towards the sky with a silent cheer as Beau says,

“Long may he reign.”

=

_Mollymauk Tealeaf,_

_You must be very confused, and possibly scared. Do not worry, you are not alone. You have a safe place waiting for you._

_You have a family waiting for you. We call ourselves the Mighty Nein, and we all love you so much. We will be here for you. Always. Please do not be scared. It will be okay- you are brave._

_Come to Zadash, find the Evening Nip- it’s a tavern. Tell the bartender you want a drink and have no money but can offer many gifts._

_That sounds crazy I know. But please. Please if you’re awake come home. We miss you and need you dearly._

_Please just..._

_Come home and get your coat._

_Yours,_

_Caleb Widogast_

_Member of_

**_The Mighty Nein_ **

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry  
> (no im not)


End file.
